literature

Astray Antagonism: Prologue

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A train bounced across the tracks as a pegasi couple walked through the cars. On the right was an orange pegasus named Scootaloo, with one purple saddlebag on her right side, who was looking angrily at the filled seats to her right, and on the left was a gray pegasus named Rumble, with two gray saddlebags to both his sides, who was smiling despite the fact that they couldn’t find any seats. Their hooves sounded on the floorboards as they walked across the cars, loudly in Scootaloo’s case from her frustration.

“Why are all of these dang cars full?!” Scootaloo asked angrily.

“Well I guess that’s what happens when you get on the train just seconds before it leaves,” Rumble said. “We cut it kinda close.”

“Yeah, and it’s kinda your fault,” Scootaloo reminded him. “I was here ten minutes before the train left. You’re the one who got here late.”

Rumble chuckled. “Point taken,” he said. “Still, I’m surprised so many ponies are taking the train today. Guess it makes sense though, since the Crystal Fair is happening this week, but still. It’s going on all week. They don’t need to come on the first day.”

“Like we are?” Scootaloo asked.

“Guess that’s two points for you,” Rumble said. “I guess I gotta catch up a bit when we get there.”

The two of them passed between more train cars. They were both now in the penultimate car which, like the rest of them, was full. Scootaloo groaned out loud when she saw that, getting herself the attention of all who heard, not that she cared.

“Great, this compartment is full too,” Scootaloo groaned.

“Looks like we’re stuck in the caboose then,” Rumble said. “Surprise surprise. Aw well, it could be worse I guess. At least it wasn’t completely full by the time we got on.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Scootaloo said. She felt a poke on her side as Rumble got her to look at him.

“Besides, I don’t care where we sit,” Rumble said as soon as he locked eyes with her. “Just so long as it’s next to you.”

Scootaloo faced away from Rumble and groaned. “Remind me why I’m dating a guy so corny as you?” she asked.

“Because as much as you don’t want to admit it you love it?” Rumble asked. “Or am I reading that smile you’re trying to hide wrong?”

“Well…I….” Scootaloo stuttered.

“Plus I already know just how much you like my corniness,” Rumble said as he walked closer to her side. “After all, you’re wearing it.”

Rumble brushed his left hoof underneath Scootaloo’s ear and touched the broach he gave to her. It’s design was a silver circle with four lines spiraling out of it like a gust of wind, surrounded by a purple circle that sort of looked like a wheel. A combination of the two cutie marks that the couple had.

“Whatever,” Scootaloo said.

The couple jumped on to the caboose while still looking at each other and not where they were walking. As such Scootaloo collided with a pony, getting knocked back as a result, and Rumble, noticing her, stopped short just mere inches before he hit with somepony. Scootaloo fell to the ground and groaned in pain and the pony she collided with also groaned in pain.

Rumble walked over to Scootaloo’s side to make sure she’s ok. Scootaloo rubbed her head but her face was open in recognition. She quickly got to her hooves and looked at who she ran into with anger on her face. Rumble, wondering what the heck Scootaloo was so angry at, looked over at who Scootaloo ran into.

Getting up from the floorboards was a light pink earth pony with a pink and white mane and a tiara sitting in that mane. Standing next to her was a scrawny white pegasus with a mane with two shades of brown who looked at her with concern the same way Rumble looked at Scootaloo with concern. Once the pink pegasus stood up she looked up and returned Scootaloo’s angry gaze.

“Diamond Tiara,” Scootaloo growled.

“Scootaloo,” Diamond Tiara growled as well.

But before either of them could get any other words out Rumble stepped in between them with his eyes closed. He calmly spread his wings out wide, pushing the two ponies away from each other as softly as possible before they could fight. Spread as far as Rumble’s wingspan, they both gave him annoyed looks but didn’t say anything.

Rumble opened his eyes and gave toe two of them a look before making a 180 and walking over to the seats to the right. He motioned for Scootaloo to join him, and grudgingly, after giving Diamond Tiara another angry look, she did. Diamond Tiara and the pegasus colt both walked to the other side of the train, getting themselves as much distance from Scootaloo and Rumble as possible.

“Great, of course she’s here,” Scootaloo mumbled when she scooted into the seat next to Rumble. “She just had to be here to ruin my day didn’t she?”

“I doubt she came here specifically to ruin your day,” Rumble said, looking out the window to his right as the scenery passes by. “She’s probably here for the same reason we are, to enjoy the fair. Besides, she says she’s turned over a new leaf so if she’s right then she wouldn’t have come here to bother you anyways.”

“Pfft, yeah right,” Scootaloo said. “I don’t believe that for a second. I don’t know what act she’s trying to pull but it’s not working with me.”

“Hey, she’s dating Featherweight now, and that cost her her popularity,” Rumble reminded her. “If she’s willing to go through that just for that poor kid I doubt she can be too bad. So I’m willing to give her the benefit of doubt.” Scootaloo responded by giving him an angry grunt.

Rumble sighed and looked at her. “It’s just for the train ride,” he said. “As soon as this train stops you won’t have to see her again.”

“Yeah…I guess,” Scootaloo said. “I just can’t wait to get off this train so I don’t have to see her face anymore.”

Rumble sighed and looked back outside. “This is why I hate it when you two interact,” Rumble whispered to himself soft enough so that Scootaloo couldn’t hear him. “She always brings out the worst in you.”

There was silence in the train car for the next hour or so. Rumble continued gazing out the window, Scootaloo stared angrily at the table in front of her still obviously mad that she’s sharing a car with Diamond Tiara. Diamond Tiara herself was talking to Featherweight while Featherweight was mostly listening, but occasionally writing something in a notebook he pulled out of his saddlebag.

But the silence was broken when the sound of metal scraping on metal rang throughout the car alerting the four ponies and causing them all to look up. Eventually the entire train car bounced and the sound suddenly stopped but the ride suddenly got a lot bumpier. All the ponies in the train looked at each other with surprised expressions on their faces.

“What the heck happened?!” Scootaloo asked.

Rumble looked out of the window and, after doing so, an expression of pure shock fell on his face. “This car got detached from the main train!” Rumble announced. "We also somehow fell off the rails!"

“What?!” Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo asked as them and Featherweight all went to the windows on the same side Rumble was on and looked out of it.

Getting farther and farther away was the main train and the track it was on. The caboose was completely detached from the main train and was heading downhill to who knows where. As the seconds passed by while the ponies stared off at the train they were leaving behind the train accelerated faster and faster.

“What are we going to do?” Diamond Tiara asked.

Rumble jumped over Scootaloo and shakily ran up to the door that would normally lead to the other train cars. He took a look outside, both to see where the heck they were going and to see if there was a way out. The other three ponies in the train car looked at him, but none of them dared to try and follow him.

“We’re moving too fast to jump off!” Rumble told them. “Even if I tried flying you guys out I’d just slam into the wall or floor or something!”

“So then what are we supposed to do, just sit here until we crash into something?!” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Well…by the look of things…probably?” Rumble said.

“Great plan your coltfriend has,” Diamond Tiara said snidely to Scootaloo.

“I don’t see you coming up with anything better,” Scootaloo responded.

“We’re heading towards a cliff!” Rumble called out as he ran back away from the entrance he was originally looking at. “Everypony hit the deck!”

Rumble ran up to Scootaloo and tackled her to the ground, holding a hoof over her as he braced for impact. Featherweight and Diamond Tiara, both realizing the gravity of Rumble’s words, followed suit, falling to the ground and holding each other for what appeared to be the end. And that was their position as the train car fell over the side of the cliff and plummeted down to the abyss.
Chapter 1: fav.me/d7o8y0z

Well, took me long enough but I finally got this out. It's time for Astray Antagonism, a sequel to A Weighted Choice and a follow up to Rumbling Doubts. Which means I should probably warn you that this story will spoil those, but for all of you without a premium membership you already had to read through the entire thing to get to this point.

Anyways, enjoy plenty of conflict with Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo, plenty of Featherweight and Rumble trying to get them to stop fighting, and plenty of heart to heart moments between the four of them. Even if it's grudging a lot of the time.

MLP FiM is (C) Hasbro
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Gunflame345's avatar
So when I saw that you stuck Scoots and D.T. in the caboose together, I figured it was a train wreck waiting to happen... Then you had an actual train wreck occur. So I thought to myself, 'well that was fast.'

Since we're in the early stages of this tale, it's difficult to give a solid opinion on what I've read outside of I have hunch on where this story is headed, but you for the most part keep entertainment ed and often through me off so I'll reserve judgment till I get a better feel for what's going on and the actual story you're trying to tell. 

I will say, for a prologue, you did an excellent job setting up the scene and the impending conflict between two characters and created a sense of urgency with your train wreck.